


Schizophrenic (A Welcome to Night Vale Fanfiction)

by Dopple_Girl



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-05-09 19:26:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5552342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dopple_Girl/pseuds/Dopple_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos has always known Night Vale laws were weird and often spontaneous. But when pharmaceutical drugs are outlawed, he begins to panic. Because the scientist is not ready for what this strange desert community will do to his 'imaginary' friend. </p><p>What is real? And which is just the slide of mind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this the real nevergiveupgirl, creator of Schizophrenic, A Welcome to Night Vale Fanfiction. As the title might suggest, this book deals with the topic of schizophrenia. I feel it's a creative to bring Diego (someone's OC of the double of Carlos) into the Night Vale universe. This is a heads up for anyone who is uncomfortable with this kind of topic. I am not schizophrenic, nor do I know anyone who has it. I just learned of this condition in school and felt it would be a way to write a long awaited Night Vale fic. 
> 
> If you need to know, Schizophrenia is a neurological condition due to high levels of dopamine in the body. As a result, people who have it usually have either hallucinations, delusions, or both. This will explore the hallucination side of it. 
> 
> Because of this inexperience, I'm going to do some research about the topic. But a good amount of knowledge will be taken from Supernatural Season 7. I feel like it's a good portrayal of how another voice in your head can be. This source will most definitely be reference later. 
> 
> In the fanfic, Carlos wants to get rid of his "imaginary friend". This might include the mention of or acts of self harm and suicide. If this is a turn off, stop reading now. If you still want to read, a warning will be put before the chapter as well as any Author's notes.
> 
> And hey, thanks.

Carlos was in the lab when he heard the news. It was an experiment, testing some of the properties of the desert otherworld vs. properties of Night Vale. He'd only recently gotten back, and maybe the familiarity of home would help to improve his focus. He was comparing a long term sample of sand in Night Vale when the radio crackled to life.

 ** _"Everything is either illegal, immortal, or impossible. If it isn't, than you should start running. Welcome to Night Vale."_** Carlos smiled at the voice of his boyfriend. Cecil smooth, deep voice was the perfect to be the Voice of Night Vale, and it was always calming to hear it. He turned back to his work, the words washing over him. It was about halfway through the broadcast when something caught his attention.

**_"The City Council has issued a new law, voted on an unknown location, time, and dimension. Speaking in unison at City Hall, they said 'Drugs are the work of God. They destroy our souls, little by little, until nothing but a bright speck remains. This law will ban any and all pharmaceutical drugs in Night Vale."_ **

Carlos dropped whatever experiment he was doing. He didn't care what happened due his careless, only the words across the radio. Grabbing his phones and headphones, he rushed out the door toward the nearest pharmacy. He needed to get a prescription refill before it took effect.

 ** _"The City Council also said at the press release that citizens have until their prescription runs out to get rid of their drugs."_** Carlos ran, listening intently for when the law will take place. He had his sights on the pharmacy, but Cecil's next words shot down all his remaining hope.

"This law has been placed into effect ... immediately." One by one, Carlos saw each small pharmacy close and lock their doors. Some pharmacists already had bags, ready to leave now to pursue their field of choice. Carlos walked slowly back to his lab, not bothering to listen to the rest of the report. He approached it just as the weather began to play, an edgy rock anthem this time.

Normally, he would pause his research at this part to dance to the tune of whatever was playing. But he needed to check something, wanted to know how long his prescription lasted. Carlos grabbed his meds off the shelf, and spread them out onto the counter. Careful not to get any into the sink, he counted 28 pills. Roughly, that equated to 2 weeks.

 _2 weeks._ That's all he had before it came back. The problem he had tried to avoid for years all rushing back to him. A problem science couldn't solve. 2 weeks before it started again.

Carlos couldn't survive another attack. He refused to Cecil about it because he feared it would wreck their relationship. He was just so perfect and strange, and he wasn't sure how he'd react to a normal little neurological disorder. He'd have to find another way. He took a deep breath. Scientists were always fine.

**< ~>•<~>•<~>•<~>**

Carlos felt a sting on his finger, as it electrocuted him a third time that day. He'd been trying to access a website that sells anti-psychotic drugs for almost a week, a nearly sleepless week, and all that's happened was his hand burned, fingers electrocuted, and loss of a little blood. But again, the secret computer in Cecil's spare room had already blocked any of those sites. He sighed, reaching for another pill. He swallowed it down dry.

_13 pills left_

**< ~>•<~>•<~>•<~>**

"Hurry up, Carlos! I'm going to late for work." Cecil complained from the other side of the door.

"Give me a minute!" Carlos yelled back, holding one of his precious pills in his hands. He has given up on his search for a new provider, and was running low on ideas on how to get the drugs he needed. And time. He was starting to become desperate.

"Caaaarrrrllllooooossss!!!!!" Cecil part whined, part yelled. Carlos threw down the pill, followed by a drink of water. He opened the door to the bathroom, letting Cecil in to take his extra long shower.

_5 pills left._

**< ~>•<~>•<~>•<~>**

Carlos looked down at the little capsule. His last pill, and then it would all come flooding back to him. All that pain that he'd buried within him for all those years. Even in the desert otherworld, he'd managed to keep it buried with his medicine. Of course, like his phone battery, he found it constantly refilling itself so it never ran out. But he wasn't going back to the desert otherworld, and he couldn't get another refill anywhere or anytime soon. The pill would last him until about midday, then anything could happen. He could come back.

Shuttering at the thought, Carlos put the pill into his mouth and swallowed it. The pill went down easily, but drank some water to aid in peristalsis and avoid the burn that sometimes came with it. He looked at himself hard in the mirror, then exited the bathroom.

"Wondered how long you were going to take this morning on your perfect hair." Cecil teased, Carlos unaware he was the other side of the door.

"Well, being perfect takes time. But it's worth for my perfect radio host boyfriend." He wrapped his arms around Cecil, and smiled. He wondered if Cecil would notice how nervous and panicked he truly was.

"Carlos, are you okay?" He noticed.

"I'm fine." Carlos lied, and he hated it. Not lying, but lying to Cecil. But he didn't want him to worry. "A scientist is always fine." Cecil smiled again, and the two embraced in a quick kiss.

"Love you?"

"Always." Carlos smiled back as his boyfriend rushed past into the bathroom. Cecil had insisted he use 'always' ever since he read _The Fault in our Stars_. He personally preferred 'Okay? Okay.', but Cecil doesn't like being mainstream. Plus, Carlos liked to think of it as a Harry Potter reference. They both such dorks.

**< ~>•<~>•<~>•<~>**

It started while he was making dinner. Cecil had called during the weather asking if they could maybe go out to Arby's. But Carlos insisted that he make dinner. Mainly, so he didn't have to face his problem and look weird in public. But they just had dinner at the Moonlite All-Nite Diner last night, and Cecil had forgotten Carlos didn't like eating out more than once a week. This was the excuse he'd used. Cecil said he had forgotten. His brain had been scrambled ever since Tuesday was announce to be rescheduled to Friday.

 

He didn't see him first. Carlos almost always heard him first, and this was the case this time.

"Carlos." The voice was deeper than his, and he recognized it almost immediately. Trying to ignore it, he continued on trying to make dinner. But as always, he was persistent.

"Carlos. I know can you hear me. You always do." Carlos turned, ready to face the thing he'd been avoiding all this time. It was Diego, the imaginary friend he'd had all his life due to his condition. Like Cecil had Kevin, Carlos had Diego as his double.

"Hello, Carlos. Did you miss me?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, 15 kudos already? That's more than my two Superwholocks combined. That's amazing, and I can't believe it that mark so fast. Sorry if I ramble a bit, but this is just useless. Enjoy Chapter 2!
> 
> And hey, thanks.

Diego was similar to how Carlos remembered him to be, an almost identical copy to him with variations. Same complexion. Same hair just combed and gelled back. The nice prestige suit he always had on. But some others factors had changed, warped from his experience in this strange town. His white collared shirt was dotted with red, which he assumed was blood. His yellow tie had a pin attached of the StrexCorp logo. Sharp teeth were exposed when he smiled, which was always. But his eyes were the worse. They had that same darkness to them that Kevin had, the same that made you want and hide looking at them.

"Look at me, all new and improved." Diego admired, looking down at himself. "How long has it been since you last let me out? Must have been years. And now you have none of those magic little pills to save you."

"Get. Out. Of. My. Head."  Carlos growled through gritted teeth. "And it's not magic, it's science."

"It's not magic, it's science." Diego mimicked. "Look at you, always having to be the smart one."

"I am the smart one." The scientist responded, completely serious unlike his double. But Diego ignored him, going forward in his mini rant.

"Yet when a new way of living, a better way, presents itself to you, you push it away like it's disease. Why won't anyone just .. embrace it?"

"You are not real." Carlos said, defiance creeping into his voice. "It's all a hallucination."

"But I am real, Carlos. Look at me." Diego laid his hands on Carlos's. They felt real, but they weren't. He knew they weren't. "Doesn't this feel real to you?"

"Get out of my head." He shoved the hands away from his.

"Why do you deny what you see in front of you with you're own eyes? I'm right here. Just look."

"Get Out Of My Head!!" Carlos shouted, backing away from Diego. "This Is Not Real. None Of It!"

"Yes I Am!" Diego yelled back in response. He took a deep breath, allowing the calm expression to fall back on his face. "You're not afraid of me. You're scared of the religion that we believe in."

" _We_ believe in?"

"Why, the Smiling God, silly?" The voice wasn't Diego's though. Carlos turned, and looked to see Kevin behind him. This part hadn't happened before. Never has there more people than just Diego. Now Kevin stood behind him, but there was enough distance that he could move. He tried to squeeze past, and Kevin actually moved out of the way for him.

It was strange. The way Diego worked was he counteracted any and all actions Carlos did. He figured Kevin would work the same, but instead felt like his words and actions contradicted each other. His words agreed with the double but actions displayed a want to help him. He rubbed his eyes trying to determine if his mind was playing tricks on him. Carlos saw a flicker of purple, before it was back to the bright yellow that dressed Kevin.

"C'mon, Carlos." Diego taunted him. "Stop fighting it. How could you push away something you already subconsciously believe in?" The scientist started to back, heading into the living room. His logic was failing him because Diego was right.

Carlos' condition was like a mind palace. It could only throw things back at him he'd seen. He was constantly looking at himself, so it was the easiest to latch onto. And it feed off ideas, often ones he pushed to the depths of his mind where you don't look at them again. And somewhere in those depths was the idea to summit to the Smiling God.

Carlos backed further away from Diego and Kevin, until the back of his foot hit the small table in the living room. He fell, knocking over the glass vase in the process. Glass scattered across the ground as Carlos' hands looked for a place to land. His right hand grabbed the couch, while his other hand was cut against one of the shards. Blood slowly trickled out, red staining the glass and floor.

"Well, that wasn't very productive, was it, Carlos?" Kevin spoke, dragging out the 'r' in his name. The two were closer now, and Carlos started to crawl away from them.

"Get Away!" He screamed back, letting his fear take control. "Stay Away From Me! Just Get Out Of My Head!!" He curled up into the fetal position, clasping his hands together while pressing his thumb against his scar.

"Carlos? Carlos?" The voice was different, this time kind and concerning. Carlos looked up to see Cecil kneeling above him, some panic in his eyes.

"Cecil?" He asked, voice cracking a little as he grabbed his shirt collar.

"Yeah, it's me. I was walking and ... and I heard you ... you were screaming. ... I was worried so ... so I ..." But Cecil's stammering thought was interrupted by Carlos embracing him in a hug. "Oh. This is nice. I ... I like this. I like this a lot."

"Shut up." Carlos asked, though it sounded more like a demand. Cecil was compliant for a minute, but he couldn't stop when it came to his Carlos.

"Do you want to ... to talk about it?"

"Not yet." He insisted, and more time elapsed over them.

"Do you ... you know you ... kinda burnt dinner?" A small giggle escaped Carlos.

"I hate you." He told Cecil, smile still on his face. Cecil broke up the hug to look at his boyfriend in the eye.

"No you don't."

They didn't say anything for a while after that. Carlos nestled into his boyfriend's chest and listened to his steady breathing. Cecil ran his hand through the perfect hair of the scientist, counting away minutes that meant nothing at all. Just the two of together, alone and peaceful.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!! Indication of self harm through cutting in this chapter. Things will get serious. Also, little cecilos action right before the angst. You have been warned. 
> 
> Also, who didn't love Cecil pawning over Maureen's beagle in the latest episode (81, After 3227). It is probably my second favorite Cecil moment. And if anyone knows where I can get a new fridge, because it got set on fire. Again.
> 
> And hey, thanks.

Cecil started to notice a change in his Carlos. It was gradual, but nonetheless saw a difference in the way his scientist behaved.

He always wanted to stay home for dinner. They rarely went out, and when they did, Carlos would always be looking over his shoulder like something was behind him. He would constantly push on and play with the scar on his hand from when he scratched it. When Cecil tried to get closer, Carlos would be hesitant a lot of the time. One time, Cecil even saw him go as far as visible wincing on occasion.

It began to concern Cecil. Of course he knew his scientist wasn't perfect. He had own problems, like massive headaches that began after he ran out of his medication, Oblitus. But Carlos had never acted in a way this weird before. Plus he was refusing to open up to him, and that made him worried. What was so bad that he couldn't tell his own boyfriend?

His concern escalated even more one morning. Cecil was in the bathroom, making he had everything alright before he headed off to work. The mirror was covered as always, so he wasn't so much correcting his appearance as making sure he was comfortable in his clothes. If you're going to sit around talking all day, you might as well be comfortable. At least that was Cecil's logic.

"Ceec, can you hurry up please?" Carlos asked from the other side of the door. "I need to use the bathroom." Cecil smiled, and opened the door to his boyfriend. Carlos was still in his apron, as it was his turn to make breakfast. However, the thing that caught Cecil's eye the most was not the perfect hair on Carlos' head, or the bloodshot eyes and shadows dragging underneath them. What worried Cecil was the knife he held in his hand.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, gesturing to the knife in Carlos' hand.

"Oh. I didn't realize I still had it." He responded. "I was using it for breakfast."

"I don't think you need a knife for pancakes." Cecil tried to grab the knife, but Carlos was quicker and squeezed past him into the bathroom. He slammed the door shut on Cecil. "Carlos!" Cecil shouted, banging on the door. "Just tell me why you need the knife."

"It's for a bloodstone ritual!" The scientist shouted back. "You should understand!"

"First, there are no good reasons for you to preform a ritual at this time. Second, you didn't have any bloodstones when you went in. And third, you have never actually believed in bloodstone rituals." The radio host refuted.

It was silent, until Carlos opened the door a minute later. He didn't say anything, just handed the knife to Cecil before heading back toward the kitchen. Cecil entered the bathroom, placing the knife down on the counter.

"Oh, my perfect Carlos." He said to himself, noticing a piece of toilet paper in the garbage. With blood in it. "What are you doing to yourself?"

**< ~>•<~>•<~>•<~>**

Cecil didn't find out until a week later. He was in bed, wearing the bare minimum of a NVCR t-shirt and boxers. Carlos was also in the bed, and had refused to take anything off besides the lab coat. The two faced each other, and Cecil held a look of concern on his face. Carlos was oblivious to this until Cecil brought it up.

"Are you ...?"

"Yes." Carlos cut off Cecil's question, knowing exactly what he was going to ask. He'd been asking since the incident with the knife in the bathroom. "Why do you keep asking me? A scientist ..."

"... Is always fine. Yes, I know." Cecil finished, placing his hand on Carlos's shoulder. "It's just ... you don't seem completely fine. I just be paranoid, but I can't be concerned for my boyfriend?"

Carlos remained silent, throwing out no interjections as Cecil advanced on him. Cecil cupped his face in his hands, locking eyes before Cecil kissed him. He lost himself in the moment, the two fighting over dominance. Carlos felt Cecil unbutton his shirt and throw it naway. They broke away, only for what Carlos thought would be a moment, just to breathe. He leaned in for the next one, but was met with Cecil's hand.

"That's the best you can do?" The scientist breathed out. Cecil didn't respond, but instead stared at the many scars that covered both his arms.

"Why?" He asked, and Carlos noticed his staring. In response, Carlos instinctually grabbed his shirt in a attempt to cover his arms.

"I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry." He stuttered out, trying to grab his shirt. He turned, seeing it not there, then looked back at his boyfriend. Cecil had taken the liberty of wearing the flannel, so that Carlos didn't cover the scars again. He looked cute in it though.

"Why?" He asked again.

"Because ... Because of him." He pointed, and Cecil turned to see nothing.

"I don't see anything." Carlos sighed, pushing the scar again on his palm.

"No one ever does. They just ... they can never understand." He turned away from his boyfriend. "You won't. You're not going through medication withdrawal." Cecil was silent as he pulled out an empty pill bottle from his nightstand.

"Yes I am, Carlos." Carlos looked back, and saw the medication bottle in Cecil's hand. "And we might not be going through the same pain, but we need to be in this together. You need to tell me."

"Do you really want to know?" Carlos asked, after a moment of hesitation.

"You tell me your pain, and I'll tell you mine." Carlos smiled at this. Because for once in his life, someone could truly understand what he was going though.

"I will. But ... not tonight." Cecil nodded. They laid back down in the bed, facing each other. Cecil fell asleep quickly, nestled against Carlos' chest. But Carlos didn't have that same luxury, his mind alive and full of worry. He had talked to people before, but they had been scientists like him. They understood what happened in his brain, and they knew, scientifically speaking, what happened. And they had always been people he knew he could trust.

Was he ready to put that kind of trust in Cecil?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, really short chapter this time. I just really wanted to add this element in there after I read this one fic on Wattpad. Plus, what is Night Vale when there isn't some serect lurking around the corner? So, enjoy the strangeness of this chapter and don't forget to comment if you need. Those just make my day. 
> 
> And hey, thanks.

Imagine a man. No, not that kind of man. A man in a suit. Close, but not quite. Try again. Actually, no that's worse. Go with the second one. 

The man in a suit was pacing the floor of a small conference room, with a plain table and two small metal chairs. He was waiting for someone. He checked his watch. 4:59. Then the time changed as who he was waiting for bustled through the door. 

"You're late." The man said, crossing his arms as he faced them. He couldn't say he/she, because the spoke being for the city council was genderless. 

"I was exactly on time." They spoke as they sat down. "You must have notice that seeing as your watch is still out."  
The man didn't sit down, as the being indicated. Instead, he pushed aside the chair and leaned over the edge of the table. 

"I'm going to make this clear. I'm not your friend, and I will waste no expense on you." He slammed his hands down on the table, making them jump. "Why did you outlaw pharmaceutical drugs in Night Vale?" 

"I have no jurisdiction over the City Council's decisions." They said, the calm demeanor still in their voice. 

"But they do understand that the experiment is taking something that is considered a pharmaceutical drug." The genderless spokesbeing nodded. "Do they realize the implications if the experiment remembers? We've worked hard on this project, and we will not abandon all our work now."

"If you see it that way, then maybe you'd like to take it up with the City Council."

"We're mad, not stupid. Going in there would be risking our lives. Why do you think we organized a conference in a neutral location?" 

"Well, if you're as smart as you boast about, then the Vague yet Menacing Government Agency you work for must understand that I can do nothing in my power to counteract the decision." They leaned back in the chair. "I'm just a genderless spokesbeing."

The man began to pace the floor again, knowing that what they said was true. But he had to lift the ban. Years of work down the drain just because of one law. 

"Well then, tell the City Council that we need them to make an exception." 

"But ... That's absurd. There's no way ..."

"But under the circumstances of the exception, they might just. We just need to get the drugs to the experiment."

"Can't you just try reeducation?"

"It's not strong enough." He said sternly. "That's only for little things. The experiment must use the drugs if what we want hidden to stay that way."

"But how is this message going to get to them? This room has been specifically made for no Secret Police interference, and you said yourself that going directly to them is suicide."

"It's not my problem. Just know that the drugs need to get to the experiment, one way or another. And if it has to be through illegal methods, than so be it." The being stood to leave, but they didn't make it to the door. The agent from the Vague Yet Menacing Government Agency held him by his shirt hem, pulling them close so they could feel the breath on his neck. 

"Let me make this clear. Find an exception, or we'll do what we must. Under no circumstances is Cecil Palmer to remember."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of suicide attempts in this chapters. Also, Cecilos fluff. Chose wisely. 
> 
> Also, sorry I haven't updated in a while. It's just that ... THERE'S ONE IN MY BEDROOM. S(This word has been censored by the city council)! HOW THE F(This word has been censored by the city council) DID IT GET IN HERE!! SOMEBODY GET IT OUT OF MY ROOM!!!! C(This word has been censored by the city council), ITS CLOSER. STAY THE F(This word has been censored by the city council) AWAY FROM ME!!!
> 
> And hey, thanks

Carlos was watching _Supernatural_ with Cecil. It was one of the easiest ways to show people, who didn't understand the science, about his condition. Frankly, he hadn't watched it in so long. Ever since he moved to Night Vale, the events in the show he'd once loved became so ... surreal. But this was one of the few ways he'd get his point across to Cecil.

It wasn't exactly a single episode. What it was was a collection of clips from Season 7, the ones that best relate to his condition. Right now, Cecil was staring intently at the TV while a clip from _The Born-again Identity_ played. There were a lot of scenes from that episode, along with _Out with the Old_ and _Meet the New Boss_. Other one liners from the season were in there, but not many. It was an video edit he'd made before he came to Night Vale, and it wasn't half bad. Besides, all it had to do was communicate his message to the viewer about his symptoms.

This season showed how Sam had hallucinations of Lucifer after regaining his memories from Hell. And although Carlos had never died and wasn't a Winchester who would somehow come back in a plot relevant way (it was one of the things that kept him invested in the show - seeing how the writers pulled off killing a main character), the symptoms were still the same. Voices inside his head, loss of sleep, people who aren't really there. Right now showed a particular instance where the circumstances would become extreme.

"I don't think I saw this one." Diego commented, chewing loudly into his popcorn. Carlos sighed and did his best to ignore Diego, snuggling in closer to his boyfriend. "I don't even think this show was even on the last time I was free." Carlos sighed again and pushed hard into the most recent scar on his right palm. Diego faded away as Carlos started the timer.

"We have seven minutes." He stated, as Cecil paused the TV.

"That's really what you go through?" He asked, and Carlos nodded. He mouthed the word 'wow', and fell back deeper into the couch. "When ... when did this all start?" Carlos took a deep breath, and began his story.

"When I was little, I was an introvert. Very shy. I would always be by myself when I played, and I didn't really make friends with other kids well. He came when I was about 5. No name, but he was the first friend I had. I never considered why he followed me home, or that nobody else could see him. My parents thought is was just a phase at the time.

"Then after a little while he wanted me to drink bleach. My mom caught me in the act, and I had to go to the hospital. A year later, exactly a year, he wanted me to look all the doors to the car. Turn it on and listen to the radio by myself. It was my dad that found me that time. That was when I was six. Then a little while after that, just after my 7th birthday, he wanted me to jump off the roof of the school.

"That's when I told my parents that something was wrong with me. That my imaginary friend was trying to kill me. They took me to the hospital, and they said I had schizophrenia. I tried all these pills, all in the hope to escape him. I even went to therapy, and that's where I named him Diego. We finally found an anti-psychotic that worked, but that was when I was a teenager. And ..."

Cecil didn't let him finish his sentence. He simple hugged his boyfriend, who was practically breaking down at this point. "It's ok. I'm here." He whispered into Carlos's ear. "I'm here."

"Thank you." Carlos responded. He glanced at the watch on his wrist. 5 minutes. "Now what about your pills?"

"I've had severe headaches for a while. I could end up blacking out for hours or days at a time. The longest I think I've gone is a week. Then these pills show up, and I don't have the headaches. They've arrived monthly ever since until the day they banned it." Cecil handed the bottle, still in his pocket, to him.

"That's an interesting name. Oblitus." Carlos commented.

"Why?"

"It's probably nothing. But I took a Latin course in high school, and Oblitus means forgetful."

"You're probably right. Most likely nothing." Cecil said, and leaned back into Carlos. "But my headaches haven't really as much of a concern lately. I been too focused on you lately." Carlos gave Cecil a quick kiss, and the latter began to blush. The former always found it cute when his boyfriend blushed. Carlos checked his watch. 2:42 left. "Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Check your watch." Cecil clarified.

"I've actually been able to develop a pattern. When I push on a scar, he goes away for 7 minutes. If I make a new one, it's 12. The more pain I'm in, the more he goes away." Carlos shrugged. "It's always rough. Sometimes it's less, and other times it's more. But it's about 7 minutes."

"And that time is up." Diego whispered into Carlos's ear. He shoved him away, but not to much help.

"He's back?" Cecil asked, and Carlos nodded. "Let me." He squeezed one of the fresher cuts on Carlos's arm, and Carlos winced in response. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Carlos assured him. "You get use to it." He restarted the watch. "7 minutes."

"7 minutes."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams of anguish*  
> *aggressively writes fluff about OTP* 
> 
> And hey, who's a good boy?

_**"Hello, Dear Listeners. I know this isn't when I usually broadcast, but it's for Carlos. You know, my sweet boyfriend with that perfect hair who is blushing right now in the sound booth behind me. I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyways, Perfect Carlos has been having some ... trouble following the ban of pharmaceutical drugs in Night Vale. He feels that he the only one with this problem. So, I'm asking all of you to email or call in or send by telegraph or carve into an oracle bone any troubles you've been having without your drugs. I myself have been getting more consistent migraines. So if you can, send those responses to the station or burry them within the bark of the nearest oak. We'll get them either way."** _

_**< ^>*<•>*<^>** _

"Old Woman Josie says she's been having back pain without her herbal soothers." Cecil read aloud from one of the hundreds of responses from the citizens of Night Vale.

"Those count?" Carlos asked, and he nodded in response. The scientist sat at the laptop, while the radio host was on the floor. The station had received an influx of responses thanks to Cecil's broadcast. Plus there were still the ones people had accidentally buried them in the yard and not the nearest oak. Cecil will clear that up later. Right now, he was busy with the letters. Carlos was doing the emails.

"This one says that Earl is having foot troubles without his medicine." Carlos read aloud to Cecil. "Moving around in a kitchen all day is not good for his feet."

"I can see that." Cecil commented. "Oh, Tamika is having trouble managing some cramps without her pills."

"Don't go into detail about those."

"I won't. Anyone else email?"

"Um ... Hey Cecil question, Spam, Subscription renewal, plea for help in binary code, mail from Maureen ... No, doesn't look like it." Carlos said, standing up. "Surprised anyone actually sent an email."

"We'll get more once people bury the letter in the right spot. Now, come next to me and help out. We've still got a lot of letters to go through." Carlos smiled, and got up to sit next down to his boyfriend. "How you hanging?" Cecil asked once Carlos was settled next to him.

"It's ... fine." Carlos admitted. "I'm dealing with it. The first time was the worst, though." He had told Cecil about that first time where his mind had mistaken him for Kevin. Carlos had tried to explain to him was his theory was behind it. Cecil had no idea what he was saying, just that he looked cute when he rambled.

"Is he here now?" Carlos bit his lip and nodded grimly.

"Somehow my mind gave him an airhorn." Carlos winced, almost turning around behind him. "Shut up." He said, and Cecil knew it wasn't directed at him. He simple grabbed at his boyfriend's already scared hand and pressed down hard.

"7 minutes?"

"7 minutes." Carlos confirmed, and they kissed. It was a short one, and their foreheads remained connected once they broke away. "Best boyfriend ever."

"You're just getting that now?" Cecil asked mocking. Carlos laughed and his boyfriend smiled. Cecil loved when Carlos laughed. He threw his whole body into it, head and shoulders and all. Sometimes he went forward, other times back. But everything was thrown into it, and Cecil loved it.

"It's so nice." Carlos commented, leaning his head on Cecil's shoulder. "Having someone who really understands while not understand at all simultaneously. It's a strange comfort that's equally terrifying."

"Welcome to Night Vale." Cecil added as he picked up another envelope. He then nodded, satisfied. "I'm using that on my show."

"Make sure to quote me on that." Carlos joking demanded. This time it is Cecil's turn to laugh. Carlos loved his boyfriend's laugh. He squinted his eyes and he looked like an over enthusiastic puppy. Which he sometimes was on air. And Carlos loved it. Cecil opened the letter in his hand, and he began to read it. That's when his expression dropped to become serious.

"Oh." was all he said.

"What is it, Ceec?" Carlos asked, concerned. Cecil didn't say anything, just handed Carlos the letter. He took it, and began to read.

_Cecil,_  
It's been awhile. How have you been? Good I bet, from what you say on the radio. But never mind that. I've been ... approached ... by an source that rather be kept anonymous for the time being. They told they'd be able to help you get your pills without fear of retribution from the City Council or the Sheriff's Secret Police. Please meet with me in the hole in the Vacant lot behind the Ralphs on Wednesday about this.  
-John Peter, you know, the pharmacist

"Oh." was Carlos's response as well. "Are you ... Are you interested?"

"I guess." Cecil admitted shyly. "The headaches have been getting somewhat worse."

"Is it bad enough that you need your pills?" Cecil both nodded and shook his head simultaneously. Carlos had been meaning how he does that.

"I don't know. But ... I still want to go. Maybe they have some answers." Carlos nodded, respecting his boyfriend's choice.

"And hey," Carlos picked up Cecil's sagging head, so that he looked into his eyes. "I told you what's in my head. You have to remember to tell me what's going on in yours." Cecil nodded, and Carlos winced at a sound behind that Cecil would never hear. Carlos pushed his thumb into the freshest scar on his arm.

"I'll make this better." Cecil muttered to him. "I promised." Carlos shook his head, gently.

"You can't." He whispered. Cecil's eyes lit up with determination, looking at Carlos with that look. The look when Carlos knew exactly what elements to combine in the lab. The look that had his eyebrow high and his mouth twisted in a smirk. The look that basically says _I have a plan. Or at least part of it. Maybe somewhere closer to 12% of a plan_.

"Watch me."

__


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 01001000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100001 00100000 01010000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101000 01100101 01101100 01110000 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01100101 
> 
> 01000001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101000 01100101 01111001 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 01101011 01110011

Cecil laid on the bed, clutching his head and legs bent into the fetal position. He reached across the nightstand for his pills, only to remember he had none. Carlos wasn't home, and he didn't know when he was. Coming home, that is. Besides, Cecil didn't want to bother his boyfriend and his important science. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the beating of his over heartbeat echoing over and over again in his own head. Bum bum bum bum. Sometimes quick, others long, mostly sporadic. The pain became worse as visions began to flicker in his vision. In and out. In and out. In and out. Until he wasn't in the now. That Cecil realized it was a memory. One long lost from when he was 15 years old.

_"Cecil!" Someone called from downstairs. A male voice, but not his own nor his father's. He'd never met his father. Besides, the voice was young. He hoped it was Earl._

_"Just a second!" He yelled back, his arms halfway into his shirt. Nothing too fancy, considering the occasion. He threw on some pants, and dashed out of his room._

_"Cecil!" The voice called again, just as Cecil rounded the corner into his room._

_"I'm here. Quit yelling." He said to the boy yelling. He looked like Cecil, or at least what Cecil remembered himself to look like at this age. "Let me guess. 'Happy Birthday, Cecil!'"_

_"Aw, beat me to the punchline." The boy complained, and showed Cecil a neatly wrapped package on the table. It was purple, his favorite color. "Happy Birthday, Cecil. Mom left you this, I guess, before she left."_

_"She must love us." Cecil said, taking the purple package off the table labeled Cecil in sloppy cursive. He starting ripping at it._

_"You always were the optimist." The boy commented. Soon, he had a tape recorder in their hands, complete with one tape already inside._

_"Awesome!" Cecil squealed at his own gift. "I can do shows just like Leonard now! Practice to be ..." He cleared his throat, trying to make his voice deeper "... The Voice of Night Vale."_

_"You're not cut out for the voice of Night Vale." The boy laughed._

_"I will be. The tablets at City Hall say so." The boy scoffed at this._

"Cecil?"

_"And yet they don't have anything about me on those tablets. I thought they were supposed to have something for everyone in Night Vale. But I've looked dozens of times and I'm still not there."_

_"Now, c'mon. Mom says that ..."_

"Cecil?"

_"Mom Doesn't Care About Us Anymore!" The boy shouted. "Why Do You Think She's Always Abandoning Us?!? We're Mistakes, Cecil! AND THAT'S ALL I'M EVER GOING TO BE!!" Cecil stood, stunned, as the boy began to fume._

"Cecil?!?"

_"I'm going up to my room." The boy said, some of the anger now subsided. "DON'T follow me." And he left the kitchen. Cecil stood for a minute longer before regaining his senses._

_"Wait a minute!" He shouted. "Come back here, ..."_

"Cecil!"

Cecil's eyes jerked open, and the scene before him faded into the now. He still lay on the bed. Carlos towered over him, his hands clutching Cecil's shoulders. The scientist looked panicked & filled with concern.

"What happened?" Carlos asked, worried. "I came in and you were having what looked like seizures and I shouted your name but you ... Oh." The last part was because of Cecil, who had proceeded to hug him by the neck.

"Thank you." Cecil muttered, to nobody in particular.

"Now I know how you felt." Carlos commented as his boyfriend let go. "Can you tell me what happened?" Cecil shook his head. "Ceec, we promised ..."

"I know, I know." The radio host interrupted. "But ... not now. There are still some things I need to figure out." Carlos nodded, understanding. He had had the same attitude when Cecil first saw his Schizophrenia. He simply sat down next to Cecil and let him lean against his body to try and calm him down.

" _Come back here, brother!"_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm really having fun with these Author's Notes. Especially this one. Comment if you figure out the translation. (I don't know binary, so feel free to use a translator. That's what I did.) Anyways, this is now my stress fanfic. Is that bad? Figured. But don't expect regular updates. I still have multiple other fics I should be focusing on. So, yeah.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fanfic is fine. 
> 
> Everything is fine. 
> 
> We are everything. 
> 
> Strex.

Cecil stood just behind the Ralph's, John Peter, remember the pharmacist, nowhere to be seen as of yet. He'd tried to convince Carlos to come, but the scientist had argued that is was not his right to be at a super secret meeting about something illegal. Plus he didn't want to do anything that might force them to break up or lose each other again. That's so sweet of him.

"Cecil?" A voice asked. He turned and saw John Peter, remember the pharmacist, turn the corner by the other side of the store. Cecil nodded. "It's good to see you, Cecil. How long has it been?" John held out his hand for Cecil to shake.

"What is it that you wanted to see me about?" Cecil demanded, skipping the small talk. He also ignored the hand. John put his hand down.

"Ah. Well, like I said in my letter, I do believe I can get you refills of Oblitus." He pulled out a pill container from his pocket, and held it out for Cecil to see. "When they get low, I just need a clarification at least a day before so I can pick them up."

"Why? Out of all people, why do I get the pills?"

"I don't know." John admitted. "It was an anonymous supplier who gave me the instructions and the bottle. Now, once a day same as before." John began to turn around and leave, when Cecil asked him another question.

"Can you get Carlos's too?"

"The supplier only gave me your prescription."

"Well then ask him about Carlos's." Cecil pressed, closing the space between him and John Peter, remember the pharmacist. "He needs it much more than me. You get me his or I don't take mine."

**< ~>•<~>•<~>•<~>**

_"You get me his or I don't take mine."_

The agent from a Vague yet Menacing Government Agency punched the table harder then he intended to. He had watched the interaction via the Secret Police camera for some time, but only now did he turn it off with a remote. He stared at the empty screen for a second more before sitting back down and burying his head in his hands.

Now imagine a woman. Um ... not even close. Try harder this time. Closer ... Closer. One more try. Ooh, that's perfect. Now imagine her walking through the door to sit in the chair opposite the agent from the Vague yet Menacing Government Agency. This is what she did.

"So, how did the deal go?" She asked, leaning her elbows on the table.

"The asset wants the pills for that scientist of his. He says it's the only way he'll take his pills." The women debated this for a moment before responding.

"Is there a way that we could get the scientist the pills he requires?" She asked. "Maybe City Council will give us a 2nd exception."

"We nearly lost some of our top agents to City Council. We're in no position to bargain with them again."

"Then, illegal methods perhaps?"

"He wouldn't be in protection of the law, like the asset is. And that scientist is everything to him." The agent shivered at the thought. "Last year he almost regained some memories without the scientist. It has been made clear ..."

" ... that Cecil must not remember. I understand, I understand." The woman slumped back in her chair. "What are we supposed to do about him?"

"I don't know. I'm at a loss." The pair sat in silence for the longest time. Tension built between them.

"How about going straight to the Sherriff's Secret Police?" The woman suggested after a few good minutes.

"They'll just report it back to the City Council." The man sighed. "We've got nothing to work with."

"Have you considered not giving into the asset's demands?" She asked. The agent nodded.

"It's been proven that we need the asset to willingly take the drug. When he was reeducated after discovering those tapes, we slipped in a pill for experimental purposes. The results did not prove it to be as successful as when taken voluntarily." The two sat in a longer silence. It was finally broken by the woman after what was perceived to be 5 minutes. After all time doesn't work.

"I have an idea. One that might just be plausible."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I should have said this last chapter, but Kevin's post-proverb message on Episode 90 was creepy and has me scared. Also, I've just finished Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared and Rick and Morty. Don't really have much else to say.


End file.
